Wednesday, July 11, 2001

I seem to be more acutely aware of my size and the way I move lately. And not in a good way. I never had a problem before. I always prided myself in being the most active fat person I or anyone else knew. But now I am always tired and in pain. I have always had a tendancy to hold things in as a defense mechanism until the solution was right in front of my face then OH BOY would I let things out!! I think that what may be happening here. I can see me having the procedure and getting healthy and feeling 110% better so now my body is finally telling me how much it resents me abusing it for so long.

I used to worry about wether or not my insurance would approve this. But this past weekend I realized that I didn't need to. I "named it and claimed it". I have enough people praying about this that it is overflowing. Friends are good. GOD IS GOOD!!!!!

Friday, July 06, 2001

Change is good...positive life changes are the best.

I am no closer to surgery than I was 2 months ago. But I feel like I am an expert already. It seems like I have read every webpage about it. But the best thing I have gained from me pursuing this is that I have joined a couple of online mailing lists about WLS and "met" some wonderful WONDERFUL people already. Its amazing how total strangers can become like family when facing similar challenges and obstacles. Nothing about this is easy. From fighting the insurance companies to physical problems before and after the surgery it is probably the hardest thing a lot of people go through. But from what I have read and heard...the majority of people are thankful that they did it. Its got to be a whole lot easier than carrying 200 extra pounds around with you all the time....right?

Thursday, July 05, 2001

Well...I think this is working for me now. There was something up with my system that wouldn't allow me to post with any consistancy (thus the "test" posts). I go. I made a big decision almost 2 months ago. I decided to persue WLS (Weight Loss Surgery). I am at least 200 pounds overweight and 31 years old. I have been overweight as long as I can remember. As a kid it was hard. As a teen it was torture. As an adult I learned to live with it and even learned to love myself. But The health risks are starting to catch up with me and I am scared that one day I won't be here for my son. So now I start my trip down the long and winding road.

Nothing much has happened so far. I started attending a group session as the first step. The second is an appointment with the patient care specialist. Mine is on July 18th. Then a consult with the sergeon and a laundry list of tests to make sure my body is up for it. Heart, lungs, gall bladder, psyche etc. Then after all that, I need to wait for insurance approval. So when I say long and winding road...I mean it. Then of course comes the recovery and a new way of life.